I’ve always known I was adopted. When I was younger, I had visits with my birth mom, but they weren’t always consistent. When I was six years old, my adoption was finalized, and I was adopted by my dad’s parents. My mama/my mawmaw, raised me and loved me as if I were her own. What is now known as a kinship placement.

Even though I loved her deeply, there were moments when I struggled with confusing emotions. At times, I was angry that she wasn’t my mom. I remember saying those words as a child: “You’re not my mama. I want to go live with my mama.” Please remember, if your child says these words, it’s not to hurt you, it’s because they hurt. I have a child who likes to remind me, I am not her mama. I always reply, no, I am not your birth mother but I am the one taking care of you at this time.

Adoption also brought grief into my life at an early age. I was separated from my birth mom, and when I was seventeen, she passed away while I still carried many unanswered questions. Years later, at thirty-six, my grandmother, the woman who raised me, also passed away. Those experiences taught me how complex love, loss, and belonging can be within adoption.

What my childhood taught me has shaped the way I parent today. In our home, we talk openly about adoption. My children know their story, and we refer to their birth mom as their mom. They understand that they have two moms who are part of their story. If one day reconnecting feels right and healthy for them, that door will be open. Right now, they are in my care, and my role is to love them, support them, and help them grow into who they are meant to be.

Adoption is beautiful, but it can also bring complex emotions for both parents and children. Many adoptive parents find themselves navigating questions they never expected, questions about identity, attachment, grief, loyalty, and belonging. Even in loving homes, adoption can carry layers that families are not always prepared for.

Sometimes parents feel unsure how to talk about adoption, how to support their child through difficult emotions, or how to respond when behaviors or questions begin to surface. Other times, parents themselves are carrying feelings they don’t know where to place. You don’t have to figure those moments out alone.

Low Tide Lighthouse was created to offer adoptive parents a place to process, ask honest questions, and receive guidance without judgment. Whether you are navigating conversations about adoption, facing challenges within your family, or simply looking for someone who understands both the adoptive parent and adoptee perspective, support is available.

Adoption and kinship care often carry many of the same emotional layers. Whether you adopted through foster care, privately, or stepped in to raise a relative’s child, families deserve support as they navigate the realities of parenting after adoption.

I know a lot of what your adopted child struggles with. Even as an adopted mom myself, there are days I even struggle carrying everything that comes with adoption.

For many adoptive parents, these moments can feel confusing or even frightening. Questions about birth families, identity, and belonging often arise as children grow and begin to understand their story more deeply. Having guidance and a safe place to process those moments can make a meaningful difference for both parents and children.

Every adoption story is unique, and the challenges families face can vary widely. Because of that, most of the support offered for adoptive and kinship families through Low Tide Lighthouse happens through private consultations.

How I support Adoptive Parents and Kinship Families.

These one-on-one conversations create a confidential space where parents can talk openly about the questions and challenges they are navigating, including:

• identity questions from children

• navigating conversations about birth families

• attachment struggles

• behavioral challenges

• parenting burnout

• stress on marriages and family dynamics

• supporting children through grief and loss

Sometimes parents simply need a place to process what is happening in their home with someone who understands both adoption and the emotional layers that come with it.

When everything feels overwhelming, it can feel like the ground beneath you is constantly shifting. That’s what chronic stress and trauma exposure does, it keeps you in the surf, never fully steady.

One piece of advice I strongly believe in is being open and honest with your adopted child about their story. That doesn’t mean sharing everything all at once, but telling their story in ways that are appropriate for their age and understanding.

With my younger children, the conversations are simple. I might say something like, “Your mom wasn’t able to take care of you at that time, so you came to live with me.” As children grow and are able to understand more, the conversations can grow with them.

Every child’s story is different. One of my children’s birth mothers asked me to adopt her. Another child knows more details now because he is older and able to process the complexities of his story.

Children deserve honesty about where they come from, spoken with love and respect for everyone involved. Being open helps them build a stronger sense of identity and trust within the family.

Adoption brings love and belonging, but it can also bring questions about identity and where a child’s story began.

Research shows that 70–90% of adopted individuals search for information about their biological families at some point in their lives. For many adoptees, this curiosity is not about rejecting their adoptive family, but about understanding their own history and identity.

When adoptive families create space for open conversations about those questions, it helps children feel safe exploring their story while remaining securely connected to the family raising them.

Adoption and kinship care are lifelong journeys, and sometimes parents simply need a place to talk through those moments. If you’re navigating these conversations or facing challenges within your family, Low Tide Lighthouse is here to offer guidance, support, and a safe place to process the road ahead.