There are many helpful resources available, and they can give you a foundation. There is a resource page on my website. I highly recommend all books by Karen Purvis and Sara Naish.

But foster care is not just something you learn it’s something you experience.

Many foster parents, myself included, have said the same thing:

“No one really understands this until they’re living it.”

That’s where many families feel unprepared.

Low Tide Lighthouse was created to help bridge that gap so you’re not trying to navigate those moments on your own.

There are many trainings, books, and online resources about foster care and adoption. What makes Low Tide Lighthouse different is lived experience.

I have spent years inside the system as a foster and adoptive parent, and my background also includes more than 300 hours of training, leadership roles within the foster care community, and professional work in the adoption field. I have helped train and support other foster and adoptive parents, and I understand the system from multiple perspectives.

In addition to that, I am also an adoptee. Adoption and foster care are not just topics I studied, they are part of my life story.

Low Tide Lighthouse exists to offer something many parents wish they had: honest guidance from someone who understands both the system and the emotional realities of parenting children from hard places.

Training is an important part of becoming a foster parent, but many families quickly realize that training alone doesn’t prepare them for the real-life situations they will face at home.

Most licensing classes are designed to meet state requirements. They often provide information about policies, procedures, and basic parenting approaches, but they cannot cover every situation or the complex emotional dynamics that arise once a child enters your home.

Many foster and adoptive parents attend hours of training and still find themselves asking questions like:

• “Is this behavior normal?”

• “What should I do in this situation?”

• “How do I advocate for services?”

• “How do I support this child and still take care of my family?”

Low Tide Lighthouse fills that gap by offering guidance rooted in lived experience. The goal is not to replace required training, but to help parents understand what those trainings don’t always have time to explain.

There are many factors involved when a child enters foster care. In most cases, the birth family is given time and services to work toward reunification often up to a year or longer. If reunification is not successful, the court may move toward termination of parental rights (TPR). Depending on the court system, that process can take additional months or even years.

If and when parental rights are terminated, foster parents are usually given the opportunity to adopt before the child is placed with another family. If the child is not reunified with their birth family or placed with a relative, there is a strong possibility the foster family may adopt but it is never guaranteed.

From my experience working in foster care since 2015, I have seen many foster families adopt, but I have also seen situations where that didn’t happen. Every case is different.

When you factor in timelines, the average time a child spends in foster care is often around 18–24 months. If you are hoping to adopt an infant through foster care, it’s important to understand that the child may be closer to toddler age by the time adoption is legally possible.

Yes, an infant can be placed in a home that is open to adoption, but this is considered a legal risk placement. That means the child is still legally in foster care while the court process unfolds. Reunification with the birth family is always the first goal, and adoption only becomes an option if that is no longer possible.

In reality, families who take in infants through foster care are fostering first. Adoption may happen — but it cannot be promised at the time of placement.

Foster parents receive a monthly reimbursement, not income.

This money is meant to help cover the child’s needs like:

• food

• clothing

• personal care

• school supplies

• transportation

It is not designed to replace a job or create profit. Many families still spend their own money, especially at the beginning.

Adoption subsidies may be available in some situations, but that depends on the child’s needs and state policies.

How long before I can adopt?

Foster care’s primary goal is reunification with the child’s birth family. Adoption only becomes an option if the court determines reunification is no longer possible and that process can take months or years.

Some families foster for years before adopting. Some never adopt. Some adopt more quickly. Every case is different.

If adoption is your only goal, foster care can be emotionally difficult. This is something we talk honestly about in the Readiness Reflection and in consultations.

Then you did your job. You will get attached. That’s human.

And yes, it can hurt deeply.

But children benefit when they are loved, even for a season. Part of readiness is understanding the grief that can come with loving a child who may not stay.

This journey includes joy, heartbreak, growth, and change. It’s important to go in with eyes open and support in place.

Children who come through foster care or adoption often carry trauma, loss, and nervous system survival patterns. Traditional parenting approaches often don’t work the way people expect.

This journey may require:

• learning new parenting tools

• managing behaviors that feel confusing or extreme

• advocating in schools and systems

• caring for your own mental and emotional health

That doesn’t mean it’s impossible. It means it’s different and preparation matters.

In most cases, no — or very little.

When a child is adopted from foster care, the state typically covers the major legal costs, including:

• court fees

• attorney fees

• paperwork and filing costs

Because these adoptions are happening through the child welfare system, they are very different from private infant adoption, which can cost tens of thousands of dollars.

Some families may still have small expenses (such as the birth certificate or travel, depending on the situation), but the process itself is usually funded by the state.

In addition, some children may qualify for an adoption subsidy, which can help cover ongoing needs like medical care or specialized services. Eligibility depends on the child’s situation, not the family’s income.

Every state is a little different, so it’s important to talk with your worker about what applies in your specific case.

Yes. Children in foster care are typically covered by Medicaid, which helps pay for medical, dental, vision, and mental health services.

This coverage follows the child, not the foster parent. Your agency or caseworker will help make sure you have the information needed to use those benefits.

In many cases, yes.

Children under age five in foster care often qualify for WIC (Women, Infants, and Children), a nutrition program that can help cover:

• formula

• baby food

• milk

• cereal

• other basic nutritional items

WIC eligibility and rules can vary slightly by state, but foster placements are commonly eligible. Your caseworker or local WIC office can guide you through the application process.