ADRENALINE TO BURNOUT
Many foster parents only quietly carry fears they rarely say out loud. Because their license and placements are overseen by the system, some parents hesitate to admit when they are struggling or ask too many questions. They worry it might be seen as being “unfit,” or that speaking up could risk a child being moved to another home.
I remember feeling this myself when I received my very first placement, a baby who was withdrawing from drugs. I was overwhelmed and afraid to ask questions. I was scared to say, “This is really hard,” because I didn’t want anyone to think I couldn’t handle it. More than anything, I was afraid that if I admitted how difficult those early days were, they might move the baby to another home.
Because I stayed quiet and kept saying everything was “fine,” that child likely missed out on services he may have benefited from, such as early intervention or occupational therapy. I didn’t fully understand that at the time. The child is thriving today, but looking back I would have done things differently.
As I gained more experience and confidence in the system, I began speaking up more and being much more honest with my workers. In fact, one once told me I was too honest.
The truth is, many foster parents feel pressure to appear strong when what they actually need is a safe place to be honest. Low Tide Lighthouse exists to offer that space, somewhere parents can ask real questions, speak openly about the hard parts, and receive guidance without fear or judgment.
If you’re currently fostering and are feeling overwhelmed, you are not alone. Low Tide Lighthouse’s programs are designed to give foster parents a place to process, stabilize, and move forward with clarity.
Please reach out. I’ve been there. I understand the thoughts that keep you up at night, the frustration, the anger, the anxiety, and the fear that can come with trying to do right by a child while navigating a complicated system.
You don’t have to carry those moments alone.
EMOTIONAL CONTAINMENT
When I was a foster parent, one of the things I wanted most, besides someone to come do my laundry, was a safe place to say exactly how I felt. I needed space to scream without being judged, to cry without feeling like I was failing, and to be held by someone who could say, “I’ve been there. I know what this feels like.”
So much of this journey is spent being strong for everyone else. There are very few places where parents, adoptees, and families can lay down the weight for a moment and simply be human.
That need is what shaped this work and the foundation of Emotional Containment, creating a space where big emotions can be held with steadiness, honesty, and care.
Emotional containment is the ability to hold intense, overwhelming, or painful emotions within a safe, supportive, and structured space. This is not about fixing you or rushing your feelings away. It’s about creating room for them to exist, be understood, and move through you without shame or fear.
I hold space for your tears, your anger, your grief, your confusion, your questions, and the parts of this journey that feel too heavy to carry alone. You do not have to hold it all by yourself here.
This space is grounded in compassion, honesty, and steadiness, a place where reflection can happen instead of reaction, and where your emotional experience is treated with care and respect.
For Foster Parents in the Thick of It
You said yes. You opened your home. You showed up with love, hope, and the best intentions. And now you may be exhausted, overwhelmed, confused, grieving, or wondering why no one told you it would feel like this. You are not failing. You are not alone. And you are not the only parent quietly unraveling while trying to hold everything together. Foster care and adoption don’t just change children’s lives. They change yours, emotionally, mentally, physically, and relationally. This is a space for you, too.
The Parts No One Prepared You For
• the constant emotional intensity
• the grief that lives in your home
• trauma behaviors that don’t respond to “good parenting”
• the strain on your marriage or relationships
• the guilt of feeling overwhelmed
• the way your own childhood wounds get stirred up
• the isolation
• the exhaustion that sinks into your bones
Loving children from hard places is sacred work. It is also heavy work. And sometimes, it breaks parents before they even realize it’s happening.
My Story
I didn’t just become a foster and adoptive parent. I immersed myself in the world of foster care and adoption. I said yes with my whole heart. I showed up. I fought. I advocated. I poured everything I had into my children. But over time, the stress, the trauma exposure, the constant emotional vigilance it caught up with me. I got sick. My body started breaking down. My marriage felt the weight.
I was carrying everyone else and had no idea how to care for myself. I realized something I wish someone had told me sooner: I couldn’t help my children heal, if I couldn’t heal. That realization is what began my own healing journey emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Not because I wanted a self-care trend. But because I was trying to survive.
How I Support Foster & Adoptive Parents
I work with foster and adoptive parents who are:
• feeling burned out or emotionally overwhelmed
• navigating the emotional weight of parenting children from hard places
• struggling with the impact this journey is having on their marriage or family life
• realizing their own past wounds are being stirred up
• needing space to process their experiences and reactions
• trying to find steadiness, clarity, and support while continuing this work
Our time together is focused on you as the parent your wellbeing, your capacity, your emotional health, and your ability to stay grounded in the middle of a very demanding journey.
Parents Need Care Too
You are the safe place for your children. But who is the safe place for you?Sometimes you don’t need more training. Sometimes you don’t need another behavior chart.
Sometimes you just need:
• a place to tell the truth about how hard this is
• someone who understands the system and the emotional toll
• space to cry without being judged
• support untangling what belongs to your child’s trauma and what belongs to your own
• help finding steadiness again
Sometimes you just need a safe place to land, be held, and breathe.
I’m here to support you.
You are doing one of the hardest jobs there is. Loving children from hard places will stretch you in ways nothing else will. You don’t have to carry it alone. You deserve support, too.
Safety & Responsibility
This is not therapy, legal advice, or agency direction. I do not participate in case decisions or discuss confidential child information. This is a space for honest reflection, emotional support, and lived-experience guidance from someone who understands both the system and what it feels like to live inside a foster or adoptive home.
Creating a safe emotional space also includes honoring legal and ethical responsibilities. I am a mandated reporter. If I become aware that a child is currently being harmed, at risk of harm, or in an unsafe situation, I am legally required to make a report to the appropriate authorities. This is not about getting anyone in trouble it is about ensuring children have protection and support when they need it most.